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Strange Judicial Opinions Archives - Lawhaha.com - Andrew McClurg's Legal Humor
The regime reasoned that the delay would “subordinate the time and resources of the playing area … District jurist Steven “Not So” Merryday denied an Assistant U. Attorney’s (AUSA) question to decelerate a trial because a perceiver employed by the dresser of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) had prepaid for a trip to view the noble 21, 2017 star eclipse in totality. to one person’s inhalation to view a ‘total’ solar eclipse for no more than two moment and forty-two seconds.” Can’t return cognitive content with the result, but instead of just voice communication that, the magistrate–perhaps seeking his own two moment and forty-two seconds of fame–penned a cockamamie too-cute-for-words order built around Carly Simon’s 1972 hit “You’re So Vain.” You may recall that Simon’s anonymous, self-absorbed antagonist (suspected to be Warren Beatty) “flew [his] Learjet up to Nova Scotia to see the total eclipse of the sun.” (Speculation has it that Carly was referring to the 1970 total eclipse that was visible along the East seacoast of the United States).